How to Make Friends by Being a Friend First

You have to be a friend to have a friend. Have you heard that little piece of advice before? It couldn’t be truer. Most of us spend a great deal of time and energy looking for people who will listen to us, accept us, share our point of view, be there for us when we need them . . . and yet we spend little energy thinking about how we can do these things for other people. We have to be a friend first by being intentional about offering friendship to others. The apostle John put it this way: “Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions” (1 John 3:18).

[bctt tweet=”We have to be a friend first by being intentional about offering friendship to others.” username=”nelsonsearcy”]

Your actions toward the people in your life will show whether you are truly being a friend or whether you are just on the lookout for someone who will be a friend to you. Ask yourself these questions:

Am I respectful of other opinions and points of view?
Am I quick to apologize when I say or do something wrong?
Do I forgive easily when a friend has offended me?
Do I listen well and respond thoughtfully?
Am I available when a friend needs me, even if it is inconvenient?
Do I give my time and energy willingly?

Talk is cheap, as they say. Saying you are someone’s friend doesn’t require much sacrifice—but being a good friend does. Being a friend is an intentional choice to love, day by day. In the words of Jesus: “This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you. There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (John 15:12–13).

[bctt tweet=”Saying you are someone’s friend doesn’t require much sacrifice—but being a good friend does.” username=”nelsonsearcy”]

– Nelson Searcy and Jennifer Dykes Henson

The above excerpt is from p. 102-103 of The New You: A Guide to Better Physical, Mental, Emotional and Spiritual Wellness.

With your copy of The New You, you will come away with specific strategies on how to lose weight, get more sleep, lower stress, nurture better relationships, connect with God and much more! Anyone who wants to trade in the frustration of average living and less-than health for the hallmarks of the new life God promises will find The New You an effective personal guide for the journey.

Your partner in ministry,

Nelson

About Nelson Searcy

Nelson Searcy is an experienced church growth strategist, pastor, church planter and coach, consulting with churches around the world. As founder of Church Leader Insights and the Renegade Pastors Network, he has personally trained more than 3,500 church leaders in over 45 denominations through live events, seminars and monthly coaching. Nelson is also the Founding and Lead Pastor of The Journey Church, with locations across New York City and in Boca Raton, FL. Nelson and his church routinely appear on lists such as “The 50 Most Influential Churches” and “The 25 Most Innovative Leaders.” He is the author of over 100 church growth resources and 18+ books, including The Renegade Pastor: Abandoning Average in Your Life, Ministry and The Difference Maker: Using Your Everyday Life for Eternal Impact, and At the Cross with the People Who Were There. He and his wife, Kelley, have one son, Alexander.