The Church Planter’s Call to Understand His Spouse’s Call

launch conf“This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.  Since they are no longer two but one” (Mark 10:7-8).

If you are married, God will not call you without confirming the call in your spouse.  Go slowly in this area and communicate clearly with your spouse about what God is doing in your heart.  The call to start a new church is not easy on a marriage.  Open, honest communication throughout the process is crucial.

As you begin the process of discernment, there are several things you need to understand about your spouse’s call:

  • The timing of your call may not match the timing of your spouse’s call.  If your call comes first, be patient and allow God to speak to your spouse in His own timing.  Do not push.  Just as God called you together in marriage, He’ll call you together to start a church.  If you move forward without your spouse, you are not only acting outside of God’s will for your marriage but are also putting your future church in jeopardy.  If your spouse’s call comes before yours, realize that God may be using your spouse to gently (or not so gently) push you to move forward in God’s plan.
  • The intensity of your call may not match the intensity of your spouse’s call.  While sometimes both spouses receive an intense call to start a church together, it’s not uncommon for one to receive the calling to fill a more supportive role.  Don’t assume that your spouse is not in sync with you because your levels of passion are not equal.  The goal is to confirm mutual calling, not mutual intensity.
  • Make sure your spouse is fully heard, involved, and committed.  If your spouse is not fully heard, involved, and committed, do not move forward.   This is your chance to be a good listener.  Allow your spouse to share his or her thoughts with you.  Do not make any decisions without listening to your spouse’s point of view and involving him or her in the process.  Before you step out on your calling, check, recheck, and ask your spouse’s friends to check that he or she is fully committed.  Your call to your marriage always takes precedence over your call to start a church.


Church planters, my goal is to help you start a church from scratch that will reach as many people as possible, as quickly as possible, in the power of the Holy Spirit.

In other words, I want to provide you with EVERYTHING you need to Launch Large.

So, in honor of Church Planters Week, I’m offering 3 Days of Free Gifts for Church Planters and Multi-Site Pastors – today is Day 2!

Consider this your launch pad for starting a church from scratch.

Gift # 2 – Executive Book Summary – Launch: Starting a New Church from Scratch

Today’s download is a summary of my comprehensive book, Launch, which gives you practical, how-to strategies for every step you must take to start a church from scratch. to download now!


You can also join me for my  One Day Church Planting Launch Conference coming soon at a location near you. This conference is perfect if you are just beginning to plan a Church Launch as well as for those who have already started their services.

Let me help you avoid the pitfalls of a starting a new church!

To learn more, visit: The One Day Launch Conference For Pastors, Church Planters and Teams!

Hurry – there are limited seats available and last time this conference sold out!


I hope to see you in person at the Launch Conference, back here tomorrow for part 3.  Know that I’m committed to doing everything possible to help you launch your new church for God’s glory.


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About Nelson Searcy

Nelson Searcy is an experienced church planter, coach and church growth strategist, working with churches in over 45 denominations. Nelson is also the Founding and Lead Pastor of The Journey Church, with locations across New York City and in San Francisco and Boca Raton, FL. He first developed the Assimilation System 10 years ago at the Journey Church and has since implemented and improved these strategies with over 3,000 churches across all sizes and denominations. He started coaching pastors in 2006 and has personally coached over 2100+ senior pastors, helping them break common growth barriers like 125, 250, 500, 1000 and beyond, all while maintaining personal life and ministry balance. As founder of Church Leader Insights and the Renegade Pastors Network, he has trained more than 50,000 church leaders (3,000+ church planters). He is the author of over 85 church growth resources and 17+ books, including Fusion: Turning First-Time Guests Into Fully-Engaged Members of Your Church and The Renegade Pastor: Abandoning Average in Your Life and Ministry. His continued mission is to help church leaders around the world cooperate with God in creating healthy, thriving churches. Nelson is married to Kelley and together they have one son, Alexander.

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