Beliefnet has illustrated some of my tips on how Christians should resolve conflict – taken from my new book Tongue Pierced: How the Words You Speak Transform the Life You Live.

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Follow God’s Lead – Make sure God is leading you to initiate the encounter. One of the best ways to discern God’s leading is to detect your excitement level. If you’re too excited you might be moving in pride. There should be a sense of humility tugging at you along with a healthy sense of dread to confront someone in love.

Request A Private Meeting – In order to be effective and protect the relationship, approach them in private. If done in public the person will more than likely try to save face and become defensive. The Bible says, “If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense,” (Matt. 18:15). Follow these words to maintain your relationship.

Prepare to share your thoughts – Ask the Holy Spirit for guidance moment to moment. Make sure your own feelings are in check so that each word and thought is conveyed in love. You may even want to write it down first and remember to always consider the other person. It’s a tough position to be confronted, so be compassionate.

Tell the truth and leave the rest to God – Don’t overdo it. Communicate the truth that God has placed on your heart and then let His Spirit do the inner work. The words you speak will be confirmation and they will know it (even if they don’t admit it).

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Your partner in ministry,

Nelson

P.S. – Tongue Pierced is a practical guide for understanding the important role the tongue plays in everyday life, and how we can use its power to create the present circumstances, meaningful relationships and eternal significance. To pick up my new book today just click here (it’s only $12 now on Amazon). After you pick up the book, go to www.ChurchLeaderInsights.com/TonguePierced to get over $190.00 in free bonuses – including the full Tongue Pierced Sermon Series ($99.95 value) and a $60.00 gift certificate for anything in the CLI Store. I can’t give you the book for free but I will give you FIVE TIMES what you invested in the book through this gift certificate alone!

© Nelson Searcy. All Rights Reserved.

About Nelson Searcy

Nelson Searcy is an experienced church growth strategist, pastor, church planter and coach, consulting with churches around the world. As founder of Church Leader Insights and the Renegade Pastors Network, he has personally trained more than 3,500 church leaders in over 45 denominations through live events, seminars and monthly coaching. Nelson is also the Founding and Lead Pastor of The Journey Church, with locations across New York City and in Boca Raton, FL. Nelson and his church routinely appear on lists such as “The 50 Most Influential Churches” and “The 25 Most Innovative Leaders.” He is the author of over 100 church growth resources and 18+ books, including The Renegade Pastor: Abandoning Average in Your Life, Ministry and The Difference Maker: Using Your Everyday Life for Eternal Impact, and At the Cross with the People Who Were There. He and his wife, Kelley, have one son, Alexander.