How to Deal with Anonymous Critics in Your Church… Yuck! (Guest Blogger Don Ross)

I’ve asked Don Ross – Advanced Coaching Alum, Renegade Pastor and Lead Pastor of Creekside Church in the Seattle, Washington Area – to share today about an issue that plagues a lot of pastors.

Hope you find this helpful:

Do you have anonymous critics in the church you lead?  We all do. 

I had a person send me an anonymous note telling me I was preaching false doctrine, another said the devil was using me, another said I was unfit to be in the ministry.  Still another said I was offensive during a sermon and expected a public apology this coming Sunday.

You know the people I mean.  They send you a note in the mail or write something on the communication card and drop it in the offering with no name.  Then you are supposed to act on it somehow, either a public statement or some shift in policy.

The problem is if we acknowledged this note publicly, we encouraged more such notes.  If we don’t deal with it, we wrestle with internal guilt because we seem to not really be caring about the sheep.

Jesus had a similar problem, so I took a cue on how to handle it.

In Matthew 21:23-27, Jesus had his authority questioned, so he returns a question for a question, saying, “You answer mine, I’ll answer yours.”  Of course those trying to trap Jesus didn’t and couldn’t answer Jesus without also trapping themselves.  So Jesus refused to answer their question.  My guess is Jesus didn’t feel guilty either.

From Jesus’ modeling I took away that I don’t have to answer every question, deal with every situation or even respond at all.  So I don’t.  I applied Jesus principle of non-response to my anonymous critics.  I ignore them all.

The problem is that their so-called “legitimate criticism” has come by an “illegitimate means”.  If someone doesn’t have the courage to stand by their observations in a letter or note by telling me their name so I can respond, they don’t deserve a response.

I will sincerely receive and evaluate all sincerely sent criticisms and observations.

I have no problem with that, and I need to have an open heart and humble mind to embrace what I may not see.  All leaders should.  But timid, weak people who take cheap, anonymous shots, should themselves be… well I can’t go there.

My team members who sort the cards turned in on Sunday are instructed to disregard all cards without names.  Period.  I have no respect for cheap guerrilla tactics designed to hold leaders hostage emotionally.  Believe me, I could use much stronger language here.

If I receive a letter in the mail, I open it, even if it doesn’t have a return address, but if there is no signature, it is discarded before any contents are read.  This has served me well.

In addition to this, I regularly tell me people from the stage that I want to hear from them, opinions, criticism, praise reports, anything at all, but they need to let me know who they are.

I tell them at the same time, “If you send me a note or a Sunday Card and it is unsigned, it is discarded.  So have the courage and integrity to give us your name before you give us your opinion.

Here’s the bottom line… no input from the critic, no response from me, just like Jesus.

For information on the Turn-Around Church Coaching Network, see www.turnaroundchurch.org

Like This Post? Stay Updated with Nelson:

Share This Post


© Nelson Searcy. All Rights Reserved.

About Nelson Searcy

Nelson Searcy is an experienced church growth strategist, pastor, church planter and coach, consulting with churches around the world. As founder of Church Leader Insights and the Renegade Pastors Network, he has personally trained more than 3,500 church leaders in over 45 denominations through live events, seminars and monthly coaching. Nelson is also the Founding and Lead Pastor of The Journey Church, with locations across New York City and in Boca Raton, FL. Nelson and his church routinely appear on lists such as “The 50 Most Influential Churches” and “The 25 Most Innovative Leaders.” He is the author of over 100 church growth resources and 18+ books, including The Renegade Pastor: Abandoning Average in Your Life, Ministry and The Difference Maker: Using Your Everyday Life for Eternal Impact, and At the Cross with the People Who Were There. He and his wife, Kelley, have one son, Alexander.

Nelson SearcyLeadership

tagged with: ,,,