Roy Mansfield here – Pastor of Spiritual Development at Northstar Church in Panama City, Florida, former Director of Training for Church Leader Insights and regular guest contributor to Nelson’s blog…
When I was younger… when I didn’t have kids… when I had less responsibility… when I… [insert pathetic excuse of your choice here] I was the self proclaimed “King of Romance.” I have put quotations around this phrase because no one outside of the complex inner workings of my own brain actually made this proclamation.
Because I live with my wife and 2 teenage daughters the “Lifetime” logo shows up in the lower right hand corner of my television screen a lot more often than that of “ESPN.” As a result I have the opportunity to observe a lot of (poorly acted) “romance.”
I have noticed a pattern in the kind of romance that wins the girl in these movies. Here’s an example:
- Girl: I just don’t think this can work out between us
- Guy: [sweat forms on brow] uhh… ummm… grunt… [clears throat]… [gagging sound]…
- [As girl walks toward door] Guy: You have 6 kinds of smiles.
- Girl: What?
- Guy: You have 6 kinds of smiles. One when you’re laughing at something funny. One when you’re with your friends. (continue 4 more times with slight variation)
- Girls throws herself into the guys arms (in slow motion of course), they kiss passionately and live happily every after.
Far be it from me to compare the Lifetime channel with The Bible, but giving this laser focused attention to someone is quite Biblical:
“Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor” – Romans 10:12
In the original Greek, the word we translate “preference” in this verse means to “think first.”
We honor people when we give them our attention and “think first” of them. In addition to being a great way to “win the girl” it’s also an excellent leadership principle.
When I served on Nelson’s staff he once overheard me mention I had always wanted to go on a hot air balloon ride. He later gave me a hot air balloon ride for my wife and I as a birthday gift.
As you can imagine this was an extremely meaningful gift. He accomplished exactly what Romans 10:12 described. I felt extremely honored.
Why don’t you select someone you lead that you would like to honor?
For the next 7 days be very attentive to what they say and do, looking for something that you could turn into an opportunity to show them honor.
It will take some discipline to actively “not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others” (Philippians 2:4), but it will be well worth the investment.
– Roy Mansfield
www.growingtogether.cc
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